Lightbulb Jokes
How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
How many IBM CPU's does it take to turn on a light bulb?
33 - 1 to process the instruction and 32 to process the interrupt.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't know yet. They're still waiting on a part.
How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll fix it in software."
How many real programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Real programmers prefer LEDs.
How many C programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they forgot to declare it first
How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb?
24 hours - 3 minutes to put in the bulb, the rest of the time to compile all the libraries.
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change
method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.
How many people does it take to change an object-oriented light bulb?
Change it? Aw shucks, I was going to reuse it.
How many FORTRAN programs does it take to change a light bulb?
1.00000000001
How many BASIC programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10 push bulb upwards,twist bulb clockwise 20 goto 10
How many games machine programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
One, but he needs the seal of approval from Nintendo before he can put his light-bulb in their socket.
How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
False.
How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "The user can work it out."
How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .
How many IBM engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
How many IBM PC owners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1.Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
2. Two.
One to do it, but one to check the new bulb for viruses first.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.
How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
1. One - but Bill Gates must inspect every single bulb and socket before the operation is started.
2. Eight- one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets for every light bulb ever
changed anywhere in the world.
How many MS tech supports does it take to change a light bulb?
"The light bulb doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard socket."
How many operating systems are required to screw in a light bulb?
Just one-Microsoft is making a special version of Windows for it.
How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
472. One to write WinGetLight BulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLight Bulb, one to write
WinGetLightSwitchHandle...
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but she/he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for him as it would be for a Macintosh
user.
How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.
How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts.
How many Apple programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but why bother? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.
How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a light bulb?
An infinite number, nothing useful gets done while they're arguing. Finally a disgusted generic
computer user (who will use any type that is in front of him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing
the participants aside. The size of the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether
or not the function is exponential is not known.
How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
1. As many as you want, they're all virtual, anyway.
2. One, but first he has to determine the correct
path.
How many Unix programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but if you forget to tell him "2" he'll mash both the live and dead bulbs into the same
socket at once.
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