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Daily Jokes / Joke of the Day
For over a year, DeepLake has been running the Joke of the Day service. Unlike many other sites, we really do update our jokes every day so you get to see the funniest jokes. Keep coming back to DeepLake Daily Jokes to kick-start your day!

Good news: The Joke of the Day is back! Thanks for your patience.

Today's Joke (No.1/1)

What If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?


General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know
how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers
--but imagine if they did . . .
---------------------------------------
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing
happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and
turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have
to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
---------------------------------------
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle,
and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle
pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and
purchase some more gasoline. You can install it
yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What!?" I paid $22,000 for this car! Now you tell me
that I have to keep buying more components?
I want a car that comes with everything built in!"
----------------------------------------
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"
HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"
CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator
pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a
while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't
start!"
HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the
product. What do you expect us to do about it?"
CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me a free upgrade so it
doesn't crash anymore!"
--------------------------------------------
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car
because it has automatic transmission, cruise
control, power steering, power brakes, and power
door locks."
HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in
my car!"

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