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Daily Jokes / Joke of the Day
For over a year, DeepLake has been running the Joke of the Day service. Unlike many other sites, we really do update our jokes every day so you get to see the funniest jokes. Keep coming back to DeepLake Daily Jokes to kick-start your day!

Good news: The Joke of the Day is back! Thanks for your patience.

Today's Joke (No.1/1)

Eastern United States


In response to "You know you live in the NorthWest U.S. if you..."
One is aware of being an Easterner if one...

- can truly distinguish between "overdressed" and well dressed.
Overdressed would imply too many layers. Of course in the out of doors
there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing or ill
dressing. When it comes to circulating in public (which only includes
"nice" restaurants when dining out) a gentleman or lady ought never
compromise being well dressed. Not so much in a fashion sense but in
"comfortable formality."

- knows fewer than eight people who own companies that manufacture
computer parts, airplanes, or athletic shoes. Avoiding these awful signs
of deteriorating society as often as possible in one's daily life.

- reserves the eating of Oriental food to when one is traveling in Asia.
When in Rome? don't you know. Unless of course one is an academic or in
the foreign service and developed a pension for the local cuisine. One
then can distinguish authentic eateries and can order in the appropriate
language.

- would avoid ever visiting California.

- knows that when in company anything that doesn't come out of a silver
service is suspect. And when publicly in mixed company to politely
abstain from hot beverages of such indistinguishable pedigree. Why would
one want to drink from a piece of paper or plastic anyway?

- takes July 1-3 to shop and prepare for the Independence Day
festivities; lawn games, picnic, boating, and dinner dance at the club.
All of which require a different outfit of new clothing. Linens and
whites are preferred.

- can remember the best dates, conditions, times of day, and how long to
go out in the winter weather for sporting purposes. All the best places
being primarily warmed by fireplaces and absent of telephone
distractions to begin with.

- feels guilty for days having anything to do with any food or beverage
packaged in metal or after having anything to do with refuse in general.


- gets very happy when the weather forecast allows one to keep an early
morning rendezvous for tennis, crew, hunting or skiing or some other
seasonally appropriate appointment. If up late the night before, "day
break" cocktails will be required. See also above concerning "bad
weather."

- doesn't need ten words to order anything, unless of course, in the
correct foreign language.

- has a groundskeeper or housekeeper make the necessary "arrangements"
concerning any disruptive acts of God.

- never goes on an outing ill dressed, ill mannered or ill prepared for
remaining civilized according to the robustness of one's constitution.

- never goes anywhere one cannot get the breezes. And who doesn't at
least sail?

- considers the Appalacian range to be "hills" on the edge of
civilization. For mountains one goes to the Alps.

- would never think of selling the estate "It's been in the family for
years" (this means at least two hundred) and complains when the location
of the "country place" gets to touristy (recent builds) or "the wrong
sort of people" close enough to stir the garden and bridge clubs.

- finds a wallet and has someone call the police. Of course you would
never pick up anything strange off the ground. No reward would be
necessary any billfold with $500 in it is either your own or someone you
know.

- knows the difference between Russian and Middle Eastern caviar, forget
the domestic stuff. Salmon fish identification is reserved for trips to
Scotland.

- has never lived anywhere else. And would never dream of leaving your
universe and try to break into another circle of society.

- knows swimming as well as boating to be nothing more than recreational
sports.

- does indoor swimming at home and outdoor swimming when "out."

- knows ten owners of German brewries whom you can visit and with whom
you join in wearing authentic clothing. Traditional embroidery expected.


- nods to everyone to whom one has been properly introduced.

- sees volcanos only when in the tropics.

- only goes "in town" for shopping and "in to the city" for cultural
reasons.

- goes on vacation in the winter as well as summer. And thinks the eight
hour work day is one of the reasons for the crash of '29.

- would never wear hiking boots unless hiking and wouldn't be caught
dead in Birkenstocks or Tevas.

- has an umbrella as the customary accessory for the occasional
inclement weather.

- when encountering a strangely still vehicle at a downtown traffic
light one would call the police at the time and talk about your
encounter at the next three cocktail parties and continue to comiserate
with your friends about the condition on the commuter train service and
the rise in traffic in your town.

- To identify oneself as an Easterner one must live in one of the
thirteen original (colonies) and your family must have come before the
war (for Independence) and the family fortune must have been "made"
before the most recent unpleasantness (the conflict of Northern
Aggression on the South). And although the Pacific North West is beyond
the pale of civilization we know "NorthWest" is not a word.

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